Looking back— a year in review 2017

Looking back at these past 12 months, I’ve changed dramatically in ways I never felt possible. I left a dependent toxic relationship, left a brainless job that I hated, started school again, started a job that I love, started traveling solo and began my journey of self development. I was tired of living a mediocre life.

I had been battling depression for 9 years which was rooted from a combination of a toxic household and my autoimmune disease, Alopecia. At 12 years old, I lost all of my hair and eventually my eyebrows and lashes.

For the longest time I let my depression control me. I lacked confidence and placed my self worth on the opinions of others. I was ashamed of my heritage, my physicality and my entire life. I tried so hard to be someone I was not because I cared  about what people thought and I felt like I had to blend in to be accepted.

You can blame everyone but yourself for everything you’re going through, but only you can make yourself happy by changing your life to become what you want it to be. I could’ve easily blamed my parents and my disease for my misfortune but that won’t get me anywhere. Take ownership of your life and change your life to what you want it to be. Love yourself like your life depends on it, because it does.

The world is ever evolving, you have to keep growing and moving forward. Be unafraid of change. Don’t look for happiness in anything external of you. Live fearlessly and confidently that you can overcome anything in life. No matter what happens, you have to keep going and give everything your best shot.

I still have Alopecia and I don’t have lashes or brows, but I am proud to say that I fucking love myself. I’m so proud of myself for pushing through the dark times. This isn’t to say I don’t entirely have depression anymore. I managed to kick my depression to the curb but it still lingers waiting for any sign of weakness. But every time my depression creeps back in, it’s an opportunity to grow some more. So with that being said, I hope this can encourage you to fearlessly tackle anything that comes before you with everything that you’ve got. Take control of your life because your happiness depends on it.