Pre-Quarter Life Crisis
I’m 22 years old and I had a pre-quarter life crisis two weeks ago.
If you’ve heard me recently mutter the words “I don’t know what I want anymore”, yes, you’ve witnessed me in the midst of my pre-quarter life crisis.
I had a goal of becoming a civil engineer and to build skyscrapers, but there I was in Calculus 1 and coming to terms with the fact that I’m miserable. All that was running through my head was, “WHY DO I WANT TO BECOME A CIVIL ENGINEER? DO I EVEN KNOW WHAT CIVIL ENGINEERS DO?” Fuck. What was I going to do? I’m already two classes deep into my concentration studies, paying out of pocket.
Somewhere in time, I had convinced myself that I want to become a CEO with a Ferrari in a drive-in penthouse apartment that I built. Civil engineering was supposed to get me that dream. Yeah of course that sounds great, but for what? For money? Status? To finally prove my worth? Yeah… no.
I had enough of my own bullshit and realized that I don’t even know what I want to do. All I know is that I have a passion for photography, writing, traveling, learning new things and helping people. But that’s me now, what if I don’t like any of those things by the time I’m 30?
Well you know what, it’s okay not to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. Because first of all, it’s beyond ridiculous to expect someone to plan out years ahead. You don’t even know what you want to have for dinner tomorrow night, let alone a single career that’s you’re supposed to stick to for 40 years until you retire. It’s okay to change careers even 20 years into it. Sometimes you realize that what you’ve been doing isn’t making you happy, and that it’s not what you had envisioned. That happens to most people and that’s okay. It’s normal, it’s part of life.
Don’t put your self down because you haven’t found what you want to do, meanwhile everyone else seems like they have. You’re not alive to live some cookie cutter bullshit life. You’re meant to live your own life, with your own journey and own experiences.
No matter how old you are and how far into your career you may be, start now. It’s never too late to start. Everyday is a fresh new opportunity for you to make it in to something you want. You’re never guaranteed a tomorrow, so why wait to create a life that you love.
You have to keep pressing forward towards progress. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and anxious at times, but don’t let that control you and stop you. Sometimes things may feel like a huge setback, but it’s not. By deciding that you want to change your career, you’re already taking one step towards progress. Not doing anything and letting your days pass you by is the same as going backwards. Any action you take is always one step forward.
Since I’ve graduated high school in 2014, I’ve moved to North Carolina, went to school for a year, came back to New York, worked for a year and began schooling here. But throughout all of that, I had opened up an online home decor shop on Etsy, which evolved into a home decor blog, and now this. Even though at the time, it felt like I was at a dead end, it has brought me to where I am today. We all need to acknowledge the progress we’ve made no matter how minuscule, and stop being so critical of ourselves. It’s okay to try and to fail. We’re humans.
Throughout this process, I’ve spoken to so many professionals who have all experienced the same thing. My chiropractor used to manage hotels until one day they hosted a chiropractic conference. One of the doctors suggested that he should go back to school to become a chiropractor. At age 37 he became one.
It’s okay to come to a realization that you’re not happy with what you’re doing. It’s okay to feel lost at times. We all feel that way sometime in our life. It’s about the journey. Not the destination. Anxiety about the future and the unknown can overcome you when you don’t have faith in yourself to get through it. You might have to make a couple of detours, but live your life with conviction and courage. Live fearlessly, make a lot of failures, learn from them, get back up and keep it moving.
With that being said, I currently have no idea what I’m fighting for, except that I’m fighting to have a life that I love.
If you don’t love what you’re doing, then what’s the point? This doesn’t mean that you should give up when things get tough. Give everything your best shot. If at the end of the day if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay. You can always decide to do something else. It’s never too late to start again. Everyday is a new opportunity.
Live a life worth living. Do the things you love. Pursue your dreams. Never give up on yourself.